It’s not impossible. You’re not willing to do what it takes to make it possible. Look at your perspective.
You made mistakes. You fell down. You condemned yourself but you see the good in others. You think your obstacles are too big to overcome. You think you’re too weak to be strong. You give strangers more optimism than you give yourself. Stop the self hate. Even a rose sits in dirt. Yet you find beauty in the color of the petals and the fragrance it emits. You don’t condemn the flower even though it has thorns. Sit in your dirt and grow and blossom. Don’t label yourself, enable your growth.
So many people look forward to a new year like something is about to change. Nothing changes unless you change. Another date on the calendar does not change your actions or your perceptions. If you want this year to truly have meaning you need to be willing to decide what you are going to do differently. What did you do well? What didn’t work?